The young, urban crowds packing into Swingers, a new indoor “crazy golf” destination just south of Dupont Circle, are ostensibly coming for the two nine-hole mini-golf courses. But the London-based chain, which opened in June, is about more than the pleasures of putt-putt.
Indoor mini golf isn’t new to the Washington area. H Street County Club opened its nine holes in 2009, an artistic course that allows customers to putt a ball down the “alley” between models of Ben’s Chili Bowl and the Lincoln Theatre, or around a large version of “The Awakening” statue starring former mayor Marion Barry. More recently, the region has welcomed several branches of Monster Mini Golf, a national franchise that requires visitors to knock their balls past Day-Glo skeletons and animated ogres and is popular for children’s parties.
Swingers, on the other hand, wraps mini-golf in with a variety of other distractions: a mini food court serving tacos, Southern-style fried chicken sandwiches, and soft-serve ice cream in waffle bowls; multiple bars pouring gin and tonics and frosé margaritas, and handing out cans of hard seltzer; a soundtrack curated by on-course DJs; and an area for taking animated victory photos that can be uploaded to social media. If that sounds like a lot, it is.
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All the attractions fill two levels of a nondescript office building — a vast space that once held the Front Page and Buffalo Billiards. (A second D.C. location is slated to open in Navy Yard next year.) Much of the first floor is given over to a bar with an eclectic mix of styles — long, wooden communal tables with banker-style desk lamps and comfortable high-backed seats, more chairs at a wide counter and blue-green banquettes in a nook along a wall.
Downstairs, though, is where almost all the action is — as well as the reservation desks.
Reservations for Swingers are made in 90-minute blocks, such as 6:30 to 8 p.m., but that doesn’t mean you get to play for 90 minutes: It means you’ll tee off somewhere in that range. You don’t find out your actual start time until you arrive at the course 15 to 30 minutes before your time slot begins. Also, reservations are strongly suggested, especially for weekends. Swingers says that about a quarter of reservations are saved for walk-up tickets, which are available daily beginning at noon for afternoon slots, and at 6 p.m. for evening slots.
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You’ll probably have some time to kill, so head for one of the ornate bars, where you can admire the courses — lots of ivy and softly colored flowers in planters at and around each hole, swirling club-style lights — while sipping the house G&T, a Spanish-style concoction adorned with pink peppercorns and edible flowers, or a nutty, sticky-sweet Old Fashioned made with peanut butter and salted caramel whiskeys. The two largest bars overlook different courses, dubbed the Waterwheel and the Clocktower, which are similar but not quite identical. We were assigned a course on arrival; the employee at the reception desk told us we could request the other course the next time we visited.
The holes themselves are larger, more fantastic versions of mini-golf classics: an oversized loop-de-loop; timing challenges that require putting past windmill paddles and clock pendulums; a Skee-Ball-inspired ramp where a better shot means your ball winds up in a better position on the green.
A new group of players tees off roughly every five minutes, and as they make their way through the course, there are inevitably moments when everything comes to a halt: The group in front of them is still playing the next hole, and the group behind them is itching to start. It can feel a little rushed, but it’s made easier by the caddies wandering up and down the snaking path between holes, taking drink orders and delivering margaritas, and the DJ, who had people shimmying on the greens with a mix of hip-hop, pop remixes and Yacht Rock.
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Navigating the course during a recent sold-out, prime-time slot took slightly less than 30 minutes, and after the final hole, on which a hole-in-one might be worth a golden golf ball or a slice of cheesecake, depending on the spin of a large prize wheel, we headed off to the food court — which is run by Knead Hospitality, the group behind Gatsby, Mah Ze Dahr, Mi Vida and other local restaurants. Find a table and order tacos, pizza and bacon jalapeño poppers with a QR code, and pick them up at the various stations. (Sadly, if you need a drink refill, you have to go to the bar and wait in line, and can’t have it delivered, though a Swingers representative says they hope to offer this soon.)
Compared with the area’s outdoor courses, the price tag at Swingers can be hefty: $19-$24 per person, depending on the tee time. The better deal is a package that adds two drinks, bringing the total to a more reasonable $39 per person. But when you look at it, you’re paying for the experience — from the caddies to the cocktail bar to the pristine course features.
1330 19th St. NW. swingers.club.
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Open daily. Rounds of golf are $24 per person at peak times (Thursday and Friday after 5 p.m., all day Saturday), otherwise $19. Ticket packages start at $39 per person for a round of golf and two house drinks. 21 and older.
If a round at Swingers reawakens a latent love of mini golf, or you’d rather play a round in the fresh air without wearing a mask, these are four of my other favorite courses in the D.C. area.
Hometown favorite: East Potomac Miniature Golf
In a city crammed full of monuments and government landmarks, it seems appropriate that D.C.’s only outdoor miniature golf course is enshrined on the National Register of Historic Places and sits on land owned by the National Park Service. East Potomac Miniature Golf, which celebrated its 90th birthday earlier this year, claims to be “one of the longest continuously operating miniature golf courses in the United States.” And yet, while it’s not far from the Jefferson Memorial and the National Mall, this mini-golf course feels far from official Washington — as much a part of the city as the old men fishing in the Washington Channel across Ohio Drive SW, or the spandex-clad bikers making circuits of Hains Point on weekend afternoons.
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Some archival photos from the early 20th century show that there were once obstacles on the course shaped like the White House or Capitol, but the current layout has a more natural, garden-style appearance, with long stretches of green surrounded by flagstone and concrete. (The Park Service notes that the course has been renovated twice during its history.) The unadorned holes may look simple, but duffers are required to putt along undulating greens, around steep curves, or aim for cups that feed balls down a tube, eventually — make that hopefully — dropping it close to the final hole. Serious golfers will find challenges with bank shots or terraced greens, but it’s fun for the youngest visitors, who thrill in whacking colorful balls over a humpbacked bridge.
Shade from older trees and a breeze blowing in from either side of the peninsula make the course enjoyable, even on humid evenings. Pro tip: Adults can head into the pro shop near the driving range and purchase a large can of beer, hard seltzer or cider to enjoy on the course, starting at $5 for Budweiser or Michelob Ultra.
972 Ohio Dr. SW. playdcgolf.com.
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Open daily. $8 adults. $7 ages 18 and younger and 60 and older.
The classic: Rocky Gorge "4 Seasons" Golf Fairway
For those whose earliest, archetypal memories of golf involve smacking colorful balls among statues of pirates or the steady beat of rotating windmill blades, Rocky Gorge’s 19 holes evoke nostalgic smiles.
Maybe it’s the colorful psychedelic-painted steam locomotive, where balls that miss the tunnel underneath ricochet off the cowcatcher with a satisfying clang. Or the hole where, after putting through what looks like an abandoned mine shaft, players then walk into the tunnel — a welcome bit of shade on a sweltering day — to see how close they came to a hole-in-one. What about knocking a ball up a ramp that doubles as a clown’s long, red tongue, or over a pair of humps and under a 15-foot copy of the Washington Monument?
This course, just off Columbia Pike in Laurel, pinned between a parking lot and a two-level driving range, is gloriously retro and slightly scruffy. Originally opened in 1965, some of the holes are showing their age, though other attractions, such as the windmill and the locomotive, have recently received a fresh coat of paint. Ditto the striped lighthouse, which overlooks a dry concrete culvert that was once a water hazard, and a green with torn carpet.
None of this, however takes away from the fun of playing, whether that’s trying to hit a ramp through an Old West jail — occupied by life-size “inmate” Rocky Gorge — or a fiendishly tricky hole with a wishing well, where just about every stroke winds up drifting backward into a rock bed, requiring a penalty drop.
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The 19th hole, billed as “the world’s longest mini-golf hole,” is a 189-foot-long par-2 hole that curves down a steep hill toward the clubhouse, batting cages and picnic area. There’s not much skill involved — all you can do is hit and hope the ball drops in the cup — but it’s the one that players of all ages want to try again and again.
One note on the facilities: The building next to the top parking lot is for the driving range, not mini golf, but it has the only bathrooms on the course, accessible near the 12th hole.
8445 Old Columbia Rd., Laurel. rockygorgegolf.com.
Open daily. $5 until 6 p.m., $7 after. Cash only.
A walk in a park: Upton Hill Regional Park
Only two of the 18 holes at Arlington’s Upton Hill Regional Park are adjudged to be more difficult than a par 2 — and they’re both par 3. Eight holes are shorter than 20 feet from tee to cup, according to the scorecard handed out at the course entrance. This Lilliputian scale hints that Upton Hill is nothing more than a quick distraction to knock out over a lunch break or a playground for pint-size putters. And yet, it’s one of the more attractive and enjoyable courses in the area.
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Upton Hill’s original mini-golf course — once described as “a puny, mostly flat concrete course” in this newspaper — was revamped in 1990 by James Bryan, known as “the father of modern mini golf” for the hundreds of courses he designed or redesigned, beginning in the 1950s. The front nine has a large pond with water lilies and a spraying fountain as the centerpiece. Terraced stone walls and flowering plants add color and texture, while waterfalls and meandering “streams” serve as decorative touches as well as water hazards on multiple holes. (I watched a family of three send their balls directly into the curving channel that runs alongside the fourth hole, one after the other.)
The back nine includes the mammoth 94-foot 10th hole, looking as if it’s more suited for a ski run than a golf course, once billed as “the longest mini-golf hole in the world,” and is built around a sloping hill, with curving paths and benches overlooking the greens. Both sections of Upton Hill eschew cheesy obstacles for more natural layouts that force golfers to make calculated judgments: Is it better to take chances putting up-and-around a low mound or through a tunnel? Do you aim for a hole that drops your ball near to the cup, or take a more direct route down the side of a crater-shaped depression?
While those who know their way around a green will find challenges, the aforementioned compact size means that it’s also manageable for kids — who might just be the most delighted when their ball plops into the water, or to race down the hill and chase their ball on the 10th.
Aside from mini-golf, Upton Hill Regional Park has all the summer essentials: a water park with slides and fountains; softball and baseball batting cages; hiking trails; and, recently, a complex climbing course. Mini golf might just be one part of a weekend outing, but don’t be surprised if you find yourself drawn back for a midweek round or two.
6060 Wilson Blvd., Arlington. novaparks.com.
Open daily through Aug. 22, then Wednesday-Sunday through Oct. 31. $6. $5 ages 12 and younger and 55 and older.
For the youngest golfers: Wonderful World of Watkins Mini Golf
Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion landed in Watkins Regional Park a few years ago, along with ruby slipper-shaped slides and a climb-on Emerald City, turning “The Wonderful World of Watkins” into one of the area’s buzziest playgrounds. More recently, the 1980s-era miniature golf course across the street received a similarly themed makeover: Players putt between the wheels of Professor Marvel’s trailer, or up an angled bank to avoid the Wicked Witch and her menacing broom.
For the most part, the Oz-thetics are more decorative than integral to the course: A hole that resembles a Skee-Ball game, requiring putting up a ramp and having the ball jump across a chasm and landing in one of two concentric circles, now has a winged monkey sitting on top of it.
It’s a fairly basic 18-hole course, with no moving parts or water hazards, and its compact size is perfect for little legs. Kids will probably be as happy to see statues of the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man along the path between holes as they will be to putt through a witch’s castle or over the rainbow bridge. There are some bumps along the way, and lips of cups that jut slightly above the green, but it’s easy to play and dovetails well with a trip to Watkins for the playground, the antique carousel or the miniature train.
301 Watkins Dr., Upper Marlboro. pgparks.com.
Open Tuesday-Sunday through Aug. 29, then Saturday-Sunday through Sept. 26. $6.50 per round ($5 residents of Prince George’s or Montgomery counties). Through the end of August, “Fabulous Fridays” include unlimited games of golf and rides on the train and carousel from 5 to 7 p.m. for $5 for residents and $7 for nonresidents.
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